I do not know what is wrong. All I seem what I can do is sleep. I have to force myself to keep awake. It is scary. These past few weeks I have had a lot of things thrown at me all at once. I deal with them as best I want but not good enough and then I crash. I am overwhelmed. It has had a dysfunctional affect on me. I can't stay awake.
I can't even drink tea or coffee, the tastes are foreign.
I just woke up. I haven't been able to sleep for the past three days. I woke now, soaking wet, boxed in a room with no independence. I am at the mercy of the system that has no conception of the horror I anticipate. The process is the punishment no matter if you are right or not. And the process is costly if lawyers are involved, provided you can even find a lawyer. The default is what I am going through. Not pleasant.
I just finished one project which was very intensive. It was hard intertwined with other unexpected demands.
Now I have to find out what happened to my friend who died recently. I tried to find out particulars of his death and was told since I was not next of kin I was not entitled to know. Since he does not have any next of kin, I do not know what they are going to do with his body. No one can tell me if in fact that he even died. He used to phone me two to three times a day. Now nothing. It is blowing my mind and the thoughts of this policy is anger. How can this be happening. His memory is haunting me and not knowing is cruel. Who do you complain to. I am cold. I am exhausted. My body is making me sleep most of the day. I just fall asleep. Sleeping is the only way I have to escape the state of panic I am under. I thought at my age, the few years left, my life would be calm but instead it is full of chaos.
I am getting extremely tired of talk of lawyers, the talk is "double -talk" or "half-truths."
The lawyer for my sister was told not to say anything as the lawyer did not want my sister to be open to discovery. What discovery. Under fiduciary law she had to volunteer to tell the whole truth, not wait for a court order to force her to tell the truth. What truth. That she was spending monies that were for the care of my disabled brother for her horse's vet bills. My sister was an estate administrator appointed by stealth, designed by her lawyer. I was told lawyers do it all the time, "jumping the gun." Everyone knew I was opposing my sister's appointment to be administrator and Candace choose to overlook that and not tell the court. My sister hasn't been able to talk for two years now because her lawyer told her not to.
It sounds like my ex-husband telling me that his lawyer told him to sue me for alimony, although he was living with a rich woman, and at that time, I was working at a job that paid $1.00 over minimum wage.
I do not know why I am ranting on about nonsense. It might be because a friend of mine died a few days ago and I have not been able to get any official information about his death as I am not next of kin. As far as I know he does not have any next of kin. All this privacy we are faced with is driving me crazy. Someone dies and it is a secret. After death you have no privacy.
I keep thinking about things that I have forgotten that should have never been forgiven. It is called abuse by design. Battered Woman Syndrome. No one can escape their past.
From the internet: British Columbia's robust system was designed under WESA to be simple, family-driven, and minimally adversarial. In practice,it has become one of the most expensive, opaque, and least accountable probate environments in Canada. The result is a system where fiduciary abuse can occur quietly, beneficiaries struggle to obtain basic information, and families face prohibitive barriers when trying to remove or challenge an administrator.
In other words, an unqualified person can by stealth become an administrator, and that person can be protected by a lawyer who can frame the law to defraud beneficiaries of their full inheritance.