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Sunday, September 30, 2018

30 September 2018 @ 2::50 am

This past week has been very difficult for me.  Although I am in fragile mental health I am haunted that the defendants are taunting me with JUMP JUMP.  JUMP off a tall building to my death.

A few months ago when I was wanting to end it all, a reader of this blog phoned the Public Guardian and Trustee in the hope that the PGT would intervene and finally the caller was directed to Kevin Couglin who told the caller that the PGT does not do death.

Thinking back the caller was using reverse psychology. Don't do this as this is what the PGT/VCHA wants.

My thoughts go back to Randy and the tears he had.  He did not want to die either. We only wanted to see each other and VCH/PGT prevented us from doing so.

In correspondence dated 26 September 2018 from the Public Guardian and Trustee I was accused of wanting to delay the completion of the litigation INDEFINITELY.  That is not true, it is the Public Guardian and Trustee that is delaying the completion of the litigation by threats of using the Courts to overrule my physician's diagnosis that I am not well by upsetting me.  I need treatment/time before I can realistically proceed with the litigation. This litigation did not seriously start until September 2017. Up to then I was hoping for some sort of apology from VCH/PGT.  None came.

Simply put, I need an adjournment and the PGT is refusing to give me one by consent. Apparently according to the PGT/VCHA the law will be on their side.

Defending a court application is very taxing emotionally and expensive and the defendants know this.  In my fragile state it is extremely overwhelming and equally paralyzing with or without a lawyer.

With every veiled threat by the defendants to use the rules of court, my recovery is being further hindered and the time needed is extended. I cannot focus on getting well. It is the defendants who are causing the litigation to be delayed not me.

The list of defendants/witnesses who agree with the PGT/VCHA are as follows.  Each one of them are willing to gamble that I will take my life: Over what?  A simple request for an adjournment because I am suffering from complex bereavement and persistent PTSD. The defendants/witnesses know that I am actively suicidal.  to be actively suicidal one has to have a plan and I have one.

Vancouver Coastal Health
Vancouver General Hospital
George Pearson Centre
Kip Woodward
The Public Guardian and Trustee

BC College of Physician and Surgeons
WorkSafe BC
BC Emergency Health Services
Andrew Macfarlane
Dr. James Dunne
Dr. Richard Hay
Dr. James Mark Roberts
Sam Greenspoon
Robert Chapman
Kevin Calder
Dr. Georgina Nemetz (psychologist)
Linda Rose
Tanvirezohra Batlawala
Romilda Ang
David Doig
Tim Louis
and Others






Saturday, September 29, 2018

29 September 2018

It is 4:31 AM and I cannot sleep.

Thursday, September 27, 2018

27 September 2018 @ 4:00 am in the morning

When I read the above letter which was forwarded to me dated September 26 2018 written by Catherine Romanko, the PGT, I could not believe it. I read it at 4:00 in the morning.  The letter said that I was not ill and they were calling for a summary court trial within days so that my supreme court action against the PGT would be dismissed.

This with her full knowledge that I was suffering from complex bereavement and persistent post traumatic disorder and severe depression. After years of being disrespected by VCHA what do they expect.  My psychologist is of the expert opinion that I am actively suicidal.

And who are these people: The Public Guardian and Trustee, Vancouver Coastal Health, and the College of Physician and Surgeons. They are in charge of our public health and they are doing this.  How mean are they. It is the self-interest of themselves, their reputations, that they are interested in perserving.  It has nothing to do about protecting the public, or my rights, or the rights of anyone else.

The  4:00 am letter was enough of a trigger to force my suicide.  I really do not have much to live for as my husband is dead and I only have daily flashbacks over them not letting me see him before he died.  Besides I am old.  I am at the end of my life.  No lose to anyone.

They banned me from Randy as I had to be protected from Randy knowing he was dying he suffered terribly as my reports said while in hospital that when my name was mentioned he would start crying. He could not protect me as he could not talk or write. And the PGT in 2014 with its quasi-judicial powers would not let me see him. Both VCHA and the PGT could have arranged it.  How could I hurt him, he was a vegetable with a mind.  He had a brain injury which made him a quad although he could move his head a bit and his right hand a bit.  That was the cruelest thing any government body could do.  But the PGT/VCH/CPSBC all have been given powers of government so that they can do what they want. Legislatively they do not have to have a reason. And if they are pressured enough to give you a reason, the reason is suspect.

How was preventing me from being with Randy was in the best interest of Randy.  The reality was that it was in the best interest of VCHA.  They previously had him in a private room so I could visit him in the event I might do something security was there, but then on January 29 2014 after a meeting with the PGT and WCB it was decided to move him to an open ward.  I could not visit Randy because those on the ward were afraid of me so I could never see Randy again. No one was afraid of me it was only an excuse by the nurses because they resented being ordered by Tanu to watch me rather than do their jobs to other patients.

All these agencies were of the opinion when Randy was alive that I was a lune and now that I am a lune they have reversed their opinion.

I remember when I was during a history paper 40-years ago on the West Coast Indians what happened when a tribe member committed suicide.  A council would be called and the person who forced the suicide would be killed. A life for a life.  Maybe we should go back to those days.

I was not convicted of any criminal offence.  In fact the police would not get involved. I was told by a police officer that VPD were pissed off with doing VCHA's dirty work.   So VCHA created a bizarre scenario to discredit me.  All this is designed to have a "chill effect" so that no one else would complain against these tribunals least of all sue them. They will not apology or settle.  They isolate, discredit and demoralize.  It is a policy that all employees follow once a person is targetted.

When VCHA said that the police wanted me to be banned, I spoke to Warren Lemecke (Deputy police chief) he investigated, and he said that never happened.  Either the police were lying or VCHA were lying.  How could I prove it. Did it really matter because then they got WCB to agree so the employees are safe from me from what I do not know.  I was a basket case. I was incapable of premeditating anything.  And even if I was not a basket case, what could I do.

I know there were a few good people out there that tried to help, but they were powerless.  One doctor was threatened not to be a second opinion and they threatened that he would be denied hospital privileges.  What did he ask?  He said, BUT, WHAT DID SHE DO. And I was asked to take down my blog by him which I did for a period of time for his sake. I thought by doing so things would get better but they did not.  I remember being told his livelihood and that of his family was at stake.

I do not even know why I write this blog as no one really reads it.  But the time it takes to write it, it calms me, and it keeps me from doing something totally stupid.  I cry as I write,  each word is a tear, each sentence become a cascade of tears. I slowly become exhausted, and then I can sleep.

This afternoon a retired psych nurse is coming to be with me, so I will be safe for today.


28 October 2018 @ 4:00 am in the morning

When I read the above letter written by Catherine Romanko, the PGT, that was forwarded to me I could not believe it.  The letter from the Public Guardian and Trustee said that I was not ill and they were calling for a summary court trial so that my action would be dismissed.

This with the full knowledge that I was suffering from complex bereavement and persistent post traumatic disorder and severe depression. At eight years of being disrespected by VCHA what do they expect.  My psychologist is of the expert opinion that I am actively suicidial.

And who are we talking about the Public Guardian and Trustee, Vancouver Coastal Health, and the College of Physician Surgeons. They are in charge of our public health and they are doing this.  How mean.

The  4:00 am letter was enough of a trigger to force my suicide.  I really do not have much to live for as my husband is dead and they would not let me see him before he died.  Besides I am old.  I am at the end of my life.  No lose to anyone.  They banned me and Randy knowing he was dying suffered terribly as my reports said while in hospital that when my name was mentioned he would start crying.He could not protect me as he could not talk or write.  He was a vegetable with a mind.  That was the cruelest thing any government body could do.  But the PGT/VCH/CPSBC all have been given powers of government so that they can do what they want. Legislatively they do not have to have a reason. How was preventing me from being with Randy was in the best interest of Randy.  The reality was that it was in the best interest of VCHA.  They had him in a private room so I could visit him in the event I might be irrational but then on January 29 2014 after a meeting with the PGT and WCB it was decided to move him to an open ward so I would have contact with others who were afraid of me.  All these tribunals were of the opinion when Randy was alive that I was a lune and now that I am a lune they have reversed their opinion.

I remember when I was during a history paper on the West Coast Indians and what happened when a tribe member committed suicide.  A council would be called and the person who forced the suicide would be killed.  Maybe we should go back to those days.

I was not convicted of any criminal offence.  In fact the police would not get involved. I was told by a police officer that VPD were pissed off with doing VCHA's dirty work.   So VCHA created a bizarre scenario to discredit me.  It was a designed to be a "chill effect" so that no one else would complain against these tribunals least of all sue them.

When VCHA said that the police wanted me to be banned, I spoke to Warren Lemecke and he said that never happened.  Either the police were lying or VCHA were lying/.  How could I prove it.  I was a basket case.  And even if I was not a basket case, what could I do.  I know there were a few good people out there that tried to help, but they were powerless.  One doctor I was told was threatened not to be a second opinion and they took away his hospital privileges.  What did he ask?  He said, BUT WHAT DID SHE DO.

I do not even know why I write this blog as no one really reads it.  But the time it takes to write it calms me and it keeps me from doing something totally stupid.  I cry as I write,  each word, each sentence, I then become exhausted, and then I can sleep.

This afternoon a retired psych nurse is coming to be with me, so I will be safe for today.  


Saturday, September 22, 2018

22-09-2018 Carolanne Chamberlain

Below is part of an email from 2016.  

Carolanne always wanted to see me.  It was GPC/VCHA who made the decision otherwise.
 

On Sat, Mar 5, 2016 at 2:20 PM, Larry Shapiro Realties wrote:

I’ll take care of it.

When I brought the yellow flowers to Carolanne, I asked her if she would like to see you. Her response was enthusiastically

“yes”. Thought you would like to know.

Feel better soon Audrey,

Larry

Saturday, September 15, 2018

15-09-2018 Not doing very well

I thought by now I would be getting better but it seems an impossible ladder to climb.  From being able to sleep too much to now not being able to sleep very little.

I can't seem to find anything that brings me pleasure -- a diversion from the eight years that I was bullied by VCHA.  With all the proactive work VCHA is doing with mental health they neglect to look into their own organization and educate their own employees on how to interact with patients and their family and friends.  Their policy is still if there is suspicion that a family member or patient might be critical of the VCHA that they have to be sanitized.  In 2010 there was a web presence called Civil Rights Now by Paul Caine.  It was highly critical of the health authorities and in those days the media would feature such talk and he has now been minimized to boring like all non-profit sites that get funding from VCHA.  It was as if  Paul was told to cool it. His website does not now contain any of the history of his time while in George Pearson Centre.  It was a history so how can, I assume, VCHA destroy it.  I wonder when he was being an advocate for the disabled he was confident and helpful now he doesn't even answer his phone.  One thing that I cannot forget about his telling was a patient who needed help at George Pearson Centre and the residents in the ward were incessantly calling for assistance to help him and the requests were ignored and the patient died.  History is history and it should not be deleted from the internet. I wonder if Paul knows about the constitutional challenge Roger Foley has started in Ontario.  The issue includes directed funding that Paul wanted for patients in British Columbia.  Foley has asked that Bill C-14 be declared unconstitutional as it does not give equal access to life.  And there was Tina who sued VCHA and the Portland Society over the way she was treated and her vivid descriptive blog is gone. And also there was Ms. Tonner a health authority nurse-employee who complained about the death of her mother while in care and she threatened to deconstruct what happened.  She got early retirement.   For the greater good VCHA has decided to get rid of any negativity about VCHA so when abuses happen a loner is considered NOK and the loner is put on the flowchart of how VCHA treat dissenters.  You are made to believe that there is something wrong with you. It is called gaslighting.  And VCHA is very good at it.

As for me my suicide ideation of a few months ago it is still with me.  It would be so easy.  No more flashbacks, no more stress, no impossible deadlines, no more erratic behavior, like buying expensive clothes (clothes full price rather than on sale) that I will never wear.  I attempted to buy a toaster oven and I took it back many times as I could not decide if I really wanted one.  So I finally decided over a four month period on the most expensive toaster oven which I now rarely use.  As an explantion, I live in a teardown and my stove oven hasn't been operational for a year.  No owner is going to fix anything if his building is going to be demolished.  And I won't complain as my rent is relatively cheap for Vancouver.  Althoug the building was built in the 1950s it is structurally sound.  It does not even have drywall, only plaster which does not mould and teak wood doors and teak wood windows frames and hardwood floors.  It was originally used as an inlaw suite.  Although the space is small I am happy here. It even has a small garden space which I am too depressed to look after. However, I did plant kale this spring and someone every so often drops by and tears off the new leaves, so now all I have is the stock with a few new small leaves sitting at the top. My place is close to the Canada Line so I have easy mobility.  I know I should be proactive and move but I do not have the energy to think that far ahead.  Once the permits are issued, I will have no choice.  I dread the thought of my rent $tripling.

It is four in the morning and it is time to try to get some sleep.

My psychologist said it was good to keep a daily journal.  I will try but sometimes it is very difficult as things are either so traumatic to repeat or so boring it is not worth the effort.  I dislike reading my emails, listening to the news, answering the phone, or even going to the post office to pick up my mail. I cancelled my newspaper subscription and I do not have television.  I have a sign on my door that says:  go away, I am sleeping.  I miss Randy and I regret not being able to fight for him harder.  I would like to say that I tried my best, but I did not.  The guilt will never go away.  Yesterday a friend tried to move some of Randy's stuff in the storage area, stuff I hadn't seriously looked at for four years, and I went ballistic.  I need his stuff near me and I want it in pristine condition.  One of the things I want to do is eventually send to his father all of Randy's clothing that have a Steeler's logo on them.  He has nine hats, sweat shirts, t-shirts and a Steeler's jacket.  When I do that maybe I might then be in acceptance with his death but then maybe not.  Everytime there was an occasion like a birthday I would go and buy Randy a $35.00 cap.  He wore his caps even when he was sleeping.  I managed to put one in his coffin before he was buried.  I know his father would appreciate the hats as he has been a lifetime Steeler's fan, so is Randy's mother, but I just can't depart with them now.  I just need to hold on to them. At one time I was wearing his bomber jacket most days but now as the weather is getting colder I can't find it.  I sometimes think, if it wasn't for Carolanne, I would be well.  I will be forever indebted to her as she told me in 2011 what Randy's rights were while being a patient at George Pearson Centre. She is the one that saved Randy's life. 










Friday, September 14, 2018

Euthanasia Prevention Coalition: Time to Terminate assisted suicide.

Euthanasia Prevention Coalition: Time to Terminate assisted suicide.: Alex Schdenberg Executive Director - Euthanasia Prevention Coalition:  Steve Forbes Steve Forbes, wrote an excellent article for ending euthanasia.

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

30 September 2018 : Steve Forbes


Time To Terminate "Assisted Dying"

Steve Forbes Forbes Staff
Policy “With all thy getting, get understanding."
This story appears in the September 30, 2018 issue of Forbes.

IN 2002 Belgium legalized the murderously chilling act of euthanasia, whereby doctors and nurses kill patients with their supposed consent. Holland had formally done the same the year before. This practice, all too reminiscent of what Nazi Germany did before WWII to the mentally handicapped and to people with very serious disabilities, is justified these days not by Hitlerian theories of "purifying the race," of course, but as a "humane" way to deal with those who are suffering mortal illnesses and in extreme pain.

Many thousands of patients have been disposed of since Holland and Belgium enacted these morally repugnant laws. Belgium now allows euthanasia to be applied even to children, acknowledging recently that between Jan. 1, 2016, and Dec. 31, 2017, two children, ages 9 and 11, who were afflicted with a brain tumor and cystic fibrosis, respectively, and a 17-year-old, who had Duchenne muscular dystrophy, had been put to death. Apologists say these kids gave their consent, as did their parents. Good God! Are we to believe that youngsters should be making such decisions?

Holland has been hit with scandals in which patients were administered lethal injections without their consent, in order to free up "needed" hospital beds. After all, the reasoning went, these people were going to die soon, anyway. In Belgium, according to a news report, a member of the Federal Commission for Euthanasia Control & Evaluation resigned last year "in protest at the unchecked killings of dementia patients."

What's happening here is an ugly, slippery slope. Instead of working to alleviate the tribulations of the afflicted and innovating ever better ways to do this, we simply "put them out of their misery," the way we do with household pets.

It's not only in Belgium and the Netherlands that we're seeing this awful phenomenon. A chronically ill man in Canada is suing the government because medical personnel allegedly and illegally tried to coerce him into going the assisted-suicide route to save money. "Why force me to end my life?" the plaintiff asked.

It's one thing for people to declare in writing when they are in good health and of sound mind that no "heroic" measures are to be taken, that medical staff should "let nature take its course." But it's quite another for medical personnel to actually kill patients, as is happening in Belgium, Holland and elsewhere.

Research shows that many euthanasia and assisted-suicide victims are suffering from depression. They should be treated, not abandoned. As for physical suffering, it's hardly beyond the capabilities of modern medicine to effectively manage pain with older, well-established medications, as well as newer, better drugs.

It's true that in the U.S. we have a serious opioid crisis. Nonetheless, the response shouldn't be a diminution in pain management but, alternatively, a focus on reducing and eventually eliminating the abuses
.
The temptation to use euthanasia as a solution will only increase as populations age and as cash-strapped governments and insurers scramble to find ways to reduce growing healthcare costs. It should be axiomatic that life is sacrosanct, whether or not you are religious
.
In recent times we have seen enormous medical advances that not only prolong life but also improve the quality of life as we age. The answer to the rising costs of healthcare is the creation of genuine free markets, which always turn scarcity into abundance. There is precious little in the way of free markets in healthcare. Third parties, primarily governments and insurers--not the patients--still dominate. This is beginning to change in the U.S. Rapidly effecting this transformation should be our urgent goal, not surrendering to rationing or descending into the pit of euthanasia and "assisted dying."

Morally and pragmatically, such practices have no place in a truly civilized and humane society.

Steve Forbes is Chairman and Editor-in-Chief of Forbes Media. Steve’s new book: Reviving America: How Repealing Obamacare, Replacing the Tax Code and Reforming The Fed will Restore Hope and Prosperity co-authored by Elizabeth Ames (McGraw-Hill Professional) came out in De...
  • ©2018 Forbes Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, September 2, 2018

02 Septemeber 2018 Carolanne Chamberlain

Where is Charolanne.

I have been trying to find out what VCHA has done to Carolanne.  Ever so often VCHA puts No Contact Orders on patients and patients disappear.  This is what VCHA was doing years ago and VCHA is still doing it.  Not knowing where she is is very upsetting and distracting  for me. I cannot focus on other things that I need to do.  I get flashbacks which are very disturbing. Does this not remind you of the dark times of World War II where people would go missing never to be seen  or heard from again.

We are a society where health authorities think they can do what they want and no one says anything.  Hiding patients is not acceptable.

In 2013 I became a bit friendly with a family at VGH when Randy was in intensive care and later when I inquired where the patient was, there was no record that she ever was at VGH. This mystery can best be described as mental cruelty. You have been gaslighted. VCHA causes much grief and yet no one says anything.

I am always tired: bone-deep exhaustion of living with acute stress and uncertainty for years and it has causing me physical pain and mental disorders. It is very unpleasant, There is nothing to look forward to.  Even Carolanne is gone. How can she disappear.  I contacted everyone who should know.  Nothing. We, as a country, are a silent dictatorship.

We are being held ransom to protect the confidentiality of one or two people.  It is perverse.  It is overboard causing more harm than good.

Saturday, September 1, 2018

02 August 2016 email to Andrew Macfarlane (VCHA)

Subject:
Randy Michael Walker
From:
Audrey Laferriere
Date:
2016-08-02 7:34 AM
To:
andrew.macfarlane@vch.ca

For what seems like forever I have been asking for the reasons why you signed the Certificate of Incapacity for Randy and you never replied,  I will remind you you are an officer of the court and you have chosen to offend it.

I would like to think that you were pressured into doing this but then maybe you were just lazy and rubber stamped the request of the Public Guardian and Trustee who rubber stamped whatever Coastal Health wanted.

Just for your information, the decision of the college of physicians and surgeons said that Dr. Dunne put a DNR on Randy when he should not have.  This decision was also kept from me.  Something about the college being an arcane star chamber.

How was it that you were able to rescind my involvement in Randy's life when I had an enduring power of attorney and a section 9 representation agreement.  I did not abandon Randy, I was totally devoted to him. I did not know that Randy had any money that would interest the public guardian and trustee until after Randy died.

You have insulted our judicial system and you are continuing to do so.

What you did to Randy was unforgivable.  You made sure that I would never see him again and I was his only reason for life.  How could you do that. 


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