27 September 2018 @ 4:00 am in the morning

When I read the above letter which was forwarded to me dated September 26 2018 written by Catherine Romanko, the PGT, I could not believe it. I read it at 4:00 in the morning.  The letter said that I was not ill and they were calling for a summary court trial within days so that my supreme court action against the PGT would be dismissed.

This with her full knowledge that I was suffering from complex bereavement and persistent post traumatic disorder and severe depression. After years of being disrespected by VCHA what do they expect.  My psychologist is of the expert opinion that I am actively suicidal.

And who are these people: The Public Guardian and Trustee, Vancouver Coastal Health, and the College of Physician and Surgeons. They are in charge of our public health and they are doing this.  How mean are they. It is the self-interest of themselves, their reputations, that they are interested in perserving.  It has nothing to do about protecting the public, or my rights, or the rights of anyone else.

The  4:00 am letter was enough of a trigger to force my suicide.  I really do not have much to live for as my husband is dead and I only have daily flashbacks over them not letting me see him before he died.  Besides I am old.  I am at the end of my life.  No lose to anyone.

They banned me from Randy as I had to be protected from Randy knowing he was dying he suffered terribly as my reports said while in hospital that when my name was mentioned he would start crying. He could not protect me as he could not talk or write. And the PGT in 2014 with its quasi-judicial powers would not let me see him. Both VCHA and the PGT could have arranged it.  How could I hurt him, he was a vegetable with a mind.  He had a brain injury which made him a quad although he could move his head a bit and his right hand a bit.  That was the cruelest thing any government body could do.  But the PGT/VCH/CPSBC all have been given powers of government so that they can do what they want. Legislatively they do not have to have a reason. And if they are pressured enough to give you a reason, the reason is suspect.

How was preventing me from being with Randy was in the best interest of Randy.  The reality was that it was in the best interest of VCHA.  They previously had him in a private room so I could visit him in the event I might do something security was there, but then on January 29 2014 after a meeting with the PGT and WCB it was decided to move him to an open ward.  I could not visit Randy because those on the ward were afraid of me so I could never see Randy again. No one was afraid of me it was only an excuse by the nurses because they resented being ordered by Tanu to watch me rather than do their jobs to other patients.

All these agencies were of the opinion when Randy was alive that I was a lune and now that I am a lune they have reversed their opinion.

I remember when I was during a history paper 40-years ago on the West Coast Indians what happened when a tribe member committed suicide.  A council would be called and the person who forced the suicide would be killed. A life for a life.  Maybe we should go back to those days.

I was not convicted of any criminal offence.  In fact the police would not get involved. I was told by a police officer that VPD were pissed off with doing VCHA's dirty work.   So VCHA created a bizarre scenario to discredit me.  All this is designed to have a "chill effect" so that no one else would complain against these tribunals least of all sue them. They will not apology or settle.  They isolate, discredit and demoralize.  It is a policy that all employees follow once a person is targetted.

When VCHA said that the police wanted me to be banned, I spoke to Warren Lemecke (Deputy police chief) he investigated, and he said that never happened.  Either the police were lying or VCHA were lying.  How could I prove it. Did it really matter because then they got WCB to agree so the employees are safe from me from what I do not know.  I was a basket case. I was incapable of premeditating anything.  And even if I was not a basket case, what could I do.

I know there were a few good people out there that tried to help, but they were powerless.  One doctor was threatened not to be a second opinion and they threatened that he would be denied hospital privileges.  What did he ask?  He said, BUT, WHAT DID SHE DO. And I was asked to take down my blog by him which I did for a period of time for his sake. I thought by doing so things would get better but they did not.  I remember being told his livelihood and that of his family was at stake.

I do not even know why I write this blog as no one really reads it.  But the time it takes to write it, it calms me, and it keeps me from doing something totally stupid.  I cry as I write,  each word is a tear, each sentence become a cascade of tears. I slowly become exhausted, and then I can sleep.

This afternoon a retired psych nurse is coming to be with me, so I will be safe for today.