Four Month Anniversary of Randy's Death

Yesterday being August 13 2014 has been four months since Randy died a painless death at VGH.  I can still free the climate of the room and see the heart monitor as it would not flat line for hours and hours and then at 7:55 pm it stopped and my Randy was dead.  I was holding his hand and apologizing to him that I was so so sorry that I didn't do enough to save him.  I stayed to 11:00 pm waiting for the doctor to sign off.  I covered his face after an hour as he was turning ashen in colour and I knew his long fight was over. He wanted to be with me.  The greatest gift of love and I wasn't able to reciprocate.  I am so so so sorry, Randy.