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As it is difficult to read and put in context my blog posts, I can print copies of my posts in paper form (soft cover book). This professional service is provided by Blog2Print. The cost is $50.00, so if you want a printout, just send me a cheque or money order. My Blog2Print book is easier and thus more interesting to read and refer to. The cost of the Blog2Print book is its cost and I will send you a photocopy of the Blog2Print invoice. .

13 June 2014 Two Month Anniversary

Today is the two month anniversary of Randy's death. I am in terrible grief. It isn't because he died but rather the way he died. Vancouver Coastal Health treated us like we were less than human.

Only the sociopaths knew what was good for Randy and I. No one showed any compassion for his death; no one even went to his memorial service at George Pearson Centre. His home. I wasn't even invited as if I was a what I do not know.

All I see from the nursing staff from GPC and also VGH is indifference; not a kind word; or even a small tear. Nothing.

If I didn't have a BC supreme court order to be with Randy should he be in intensive care, VCH would have got away with its threat of me never being with him at his bedside when he died. Thank you Linda Rose.

I still do not know what he died from. I asked for an autopsy but it never came. Why did they keep fighting: Roberts and Dunne about where Randy should go. Roberts did not want him at VGH as his care was too costly and neither did Dunne want him at GPC as GPC did not have personnel to properly look after Randy. Since he would never get well I suspect they put a futile order on him and let him die. VCH does not have a policy re futile, a doctor just decides and that is it.

Forget about a doctor talking to a family, he will only talk to a family if he knows the family will agree with him. Randy was in no pain, he just wanted to live.

And to make it worse most of this had nothing to do with Randy but everything to do with me and my behavior as defined by a star chamber The star chamber was first defined to me as the team of doctors and techs who looked after Randy however when I asked the team one by one over the years if they were aware of my banning all of them negated except for Tanu, Marion, and Bob Chapman. I believed that no majority would have denied me access. And the majority of the team didn't as they did not know what was going on. And of course the residents and visitors knew nothing of the banning as well. VCH are so used to banning visitors and they never coming back and there is no effective way of complaining as the complainer is always at fault. The cause for the banning is never made public. The person just goes away. I remember asking what did I do wrong and I was told you knew what you did. No, I do not know what I did to cause Randy such psychological pain.

GPC has so much control over its residents that GPC reads every single piece of mail as well as every single email that goes in and out of GPC. As for cameras they are all over the place except viewing the resident in his bed so that any wrongdoing done by the nurses are not recorded. And nurses report everything you say to management. And VGH has "baby monitors" so they can hear everything that is going on and they might even be recording everything.

I am so sorry Randy. I should have fought harder for you. You trusted me and I failed you.

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Grieving and Euthanasia

Monday, June 9, 2014 Euthanasia threatens the lives of the grieving. My son Frank died in a car accident in 1997. He was 19. He was my oldest child, my only son (I have 3 daughters). In the first year after his death, I wanted to die. I wanted the agony and pain I was feeling to end. Death seemed to be the only way. Yet, I did not REALLY want to die. I wanted the PAIN to die. The second year after his death was even worse. It was not until the third year that I started to heal. I became involved in Bereaved Families of Ontario in Kingston Ontario, and I soon realized that almost all mother's feel the same way. I met a mom - both of her daughters were killed on the same day in a car accident (they were 19 and 16) and she had no other children. We hear stories similar to this often on the news. This pain of the bereaved parent is felt physically, emotionally and spiritually. Some parents build shrines in their homes for their lost child, and never really heal. Some are mad at God. I felt torn apart, physically. I hurt all over. It was as if my body was rebelling against Frank's death. Emotionally I was a mess. It doesn't matter if you have other children when one of them dies. Sometimes, the other children suffer more because at a time when they need you the most, you are least available to them. I can see the problem of euthanasia extending its deathly grip on the bereaved. What about the widows and widowers who can't bear to live without their spouse? We need our governments to put more money into programs to help the bereaved before this is another group targeted by the euthanasia movement. Bill 52 which was just passed in Quebec frightens me. Sincerely, Caroline Yates Kingston, Ontario Posted by Alex Schadenberg at 4:44 PM

A neighbour

I just spoke to a man who told me a story about his mother-in-law who was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and was dying. It was in the days when family members could decide would is best for their members and he quickly took her out of the hospital to her home where she continued to live for one year more. Another friend of mine took her grandmother out of the hospital who also had a serious heart condition and she lived three more years. So how many stories like this are out there.

Engagement

I just discovered a Carlton card addressed to me by Randy: it says Love. Everthing beautiful begins with love. May the two of us be more in love with ever passing day. and may everthing that makes you happy always come our way. We are engaged. He gave me a ring three sizes too large and he said he would desize it. I do not know what happened to the ring but I am sure I will eventually find it. It had a wide gold band and a little diamond on it. He and his friend picked it out for me. They were so delighted in their purchase. The card is one memory I can keep.

Post from December 2 2012

So what happened a year later ... why did staff at GPC attack me and cause a total banning of me at GPC and get the Public Trustee involved. The Ethics Committee did nothing. Randy got sick after December 23 2012 and spent Christmas at St. Pauls....GPC then started to ration his treatment and kept labelling him DNR even after Randy's lawyer said he wanted FULL CODE. Sunday, December 2, 2012 Things are a bit better at GPC.... Things are getting a bit better for me with Randy now that I am allowed to enter Ward 2 and stay with Randy for one-half hour sometimes it is extended to one hour. If he doesn't feel up to getting up I make sure he is comfortable, we chat a bit, and I make sure his television is on. I do not have to take my valium any more as I access George Pearson Centre without anticipation of the stress of waiting and waiting and waiting for staff to bring Randy to the visitor's room. I was so intiminated that I could not speak to anyone for the fear that I would then be subject to a report that I was combative and agressive. Now still under security of course I can go down to his open ward bed and if he wants to go to my place or to Oakridge for a few hours, I help him get dressed and we are off. I recently purchased him a $80,.00 rain cape that engulfs him while he is in his wheel chair outside. He also wears a Steelers hat. I purchased him a Steelers jacket for his birthday on December 10 2012 which I know will make him happy. He is a devote Steelers fan. The same is when I return. I call 4777 Paladin Security on my arrival. They immediatley escort me down to his bed and watch me and I spend a few minutes sometimes a 1/2 hour to make sure Randy is comfortable. There is no problem; no residents are shrieking that they are afraid of me. I am not even noticed by the other residents. Randy of course is more relaxed as he knows that I am looking after him at his bedside. Finally I am somewhat comfortable with this arrangement but of course I would prefer 24/7 access to him like other family members have to their loved ones. I am hoping to access the ethics committee for a ruling to say a two year ban based on staff and visitors who have nothing else to do but target a 70 year old lady and bully her until she had a verbal outburst with staff over giving a stuff toy to a resident is unreasonable. The LPN grabbed it out of my hand and he told me the resident did not need it and ripped it from my hands.He did not ask the resident and the resident to my mind was disturbed by his behavior. Since he could not talk I had to defend my kindness. It was a large stuffed toy. And after two years the LPN is till working there making decisions for residents. The Santa Clause stuffed toy remained for months in the nurses station. I suspect only to annoy me.

I am so sorry.

Randy, I am so sorry that I didn't try hard enough to save you. I am so very sorry. I could have save you for a few more months or maybe a year I do not know but VCH forcing me from your treatment and not seeing you and not being able to talk to staff I did not know what they were doing to you to keep you alive as long as possible. This afternoon a friend of Randy's took me to Canada Tire to purchase plastic buckets so I can store all my/Randy's possessions. Rearranging everything and repacking everything should take me a few days. I just can't throw any of Randy's belongings out yet. it is too soon. I hope all those that were party to what happen on October 22 2013, November 18, 2013, December 26, 32103, and the first week of April 13 2014 and January 29 2014 are feeling remorse for what they did. All of them should be investigated and moved to no human contact duty. .