Flashback and post traumatic stress

I am in a very bad state of mind.  I have having reoccurring flashbacks of my life these past few years.  I wish these memories on no one.

Yesterday I was reading the Particulars from one of my neighbours from hell.  The Particulars are in the complaint she filed with Animal Control over Randy's doggies.  Her hate of me is a direct result of my  banning from George Pearson Centre. I must be a crazy otherwise I would not have been banned so she has license to do what she wants to harass me and make my life untenable as she is being a good neighbour looking after the neighbourhood and calling the police (and the police came) because she suspected that I was casing homes in the area so I could rob them. I was walking the doggies. To resolve the doggie issue with her (their barking etc.) I asked her for the use of her overgrown six foot high fenced backyard for the doggies to play in as I had no fenced yard. To her any sharing of her never used unkept fenced-in property was a preposterous suggestion.  This from a mature woman who lives with her 80+ year old mother in a $3 million teardown bungalow off of Cambie at Oakridge. 

But then it now seems that my banning is now under the heading guidelines. I am not sure what guidelines mean to VCH because it apparently gave authority to Paladin security and medical staff to physically assault me and deny me access to Randy on his death bed when he had pneumonia in October 2012 with a DNR over his head. I was forcibly removed from Ward 2 with the brutal assistance of the VPD. Every other time I had occasion to deal with the police they were always kind to me.  I did not want to leave Randy as he was very sick (with a DNR unknown to me on his chart)..It might have been the last time I could have been with him. A DNR means that a patient does not go to intensive care. With a serious pneumonia this is where you should go especially if you are rushed from another hospital. In this case from GPC, to UBC, to VGH..

And the only consolence I have are the words of my MLA, Moira Stilwell, that I should not take the actions of GPC personally as VCH is just being overly cautious. I have nothing against banning for two days as emotions can run high but not for two years and beyond.  This from a MLA whose constituent office is never open for constituents.  In the two years that I have lived here, I went to her office many times and her office was always closed.  If you phone there is a message that says if the office is closed the staff is in the community working.  Doing what, to whom, where. Moira has so much perceived power that she doesn't have to interact with the public unless it is managed and staged but then she has a medical degree so she knows she can do whatever she wants and get away with it. No accountability, just photo opts. A mole for Vancouver Coastal Health.

On Wednesday ten days ago I went to the garbage, lifted the lid, and found the three "teak boards" I use as a portable ramp for Randy to access my basement suite. I live in the basement of a duplex.  One of my neighbours from hell was reinforcing the fact that the tenants here do not want a handicapped person on the premises as it made them feel uncomfortable. Another stress on my life ...I now have to guard these boards with my life so Randy can visit me. I assume it was this neighbour who deliberately cemented cement blocks on the sidewalk in front of her duplex so I could not push Randy in his wheelchair pass her door. This was the same neighbour who complained that I would damage the common area grass should I exit to the grassy area as I pushed Randy to the small garden patio area I have in front of my windows. The common grass is fifty years old, diseased, and should be replaced.


When I went to see Randy at 2:00 pm he wasn't looking well and I did not know why.  He said that he wanted to go back to bed which is uncharacter for him as he always wants to go off site.  I was concerned as he seemed to have breathing problems as his trach needed suctioning. His eyes were in a fixed staring state with tears, his colour was off, and he looked lethargic. The RN said he was fine after she took his temperature.  But still he looked not well.  I started to panic.  It wasn't like him.  I let him to muse for a few minutes then I asked him did he want to stay in GPC in bed because on Sunday I was crying and he couldn't help me.. He said yes.  I told him that I have a right now and then like Randy has the right to be depressed and cry.   He concluded that was okay and a few minutes later he asked for the letterboard and he wrote Let's go home. It was 2:30.

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