I tried so hard.

As Randy lay unconscious on 13 April 2014 and VGH ICU would not let me hold him in my arms (they called security) I cried over and over saying to comatose Randy  That I was so sorry that I did everything I could do but they won't help him.  Randy only wanted to come home.  If he was going to die he wanted to be with me.  I couldn't even hold him, how cruel they were.The ICU bed belonged to the hospital so I could not touch it and there was a liability issue.  Critical thinking on the part of this third world imported nurse was shocking.

I buried Randy on the Island in a green grave ceremony.  It was a beautiful day among the trees and nature and sun and a light wind and the sound of life among the foliage and rockery..  I piled handful and handfuls of  pink carnations and small white flowers over his grave site.  The pink carnations symbolize that he will never be forgotten.  Carnations are a study flower and can last five-six weeks with light rain.

I promised that I was going to wear Randy's Steelers clothing as a tribute to his death but I haven't been able to do that yet.  He was a Steelers fan and most of his clothes were Steelers brand name.

At VGH I was only able to afford to pay for television for him so he could watch the Steelers games.  It was expensive $20.00 a day with tax and I remember he looked at me and moved his head up and moved his lips to say " thank you.".

Only patients that have extended medical get free television and a private room.  When I research the hospitality network I learned that VGH earns $1,000,000 a year for the televisions from the backs of the poor.   Televisions are cheap now so there is no reason except for the windfall the hospital gets so that most poor patients are without entertainment and families mostly cannot afford $600 a month..  I do not understand why a group hasn't made an issue of this yet.  But then I suppose the hospitality company that own the televisions are all doctors and everyone treads lightly with them.

Thinking of Randy

All day yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about Randy.  Life is so fragile and short.  I want him back.  He looked after me even when he was disabled.  I never regretted all the time I devoted to him.  I still haven't unpacked his belongings.  I think I will do it on April 13 2015, the anniversary of his death.
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Tim Hortons and free speech

On March 26 2015 as I regularly do I have a coffee and a donut at Tim Horton at the Pacific Centre mall.  I was sitting outside on its outside cafe area with my cart with my sign saying: The B.C. College of Doctors says it is okay to place DNRs on patients without consent.  The in-camera secret courts of the college have to go.

I was told that I had to remove the sign.  So I took the 20" X 30"sign and placed it against a tree on the sidewalk until I finished my coffee. I never talked to anyone and no one approached me. . The sign was my personal property so how can Tim Horton's tell me to remove it. What next a restraining order prohibiting me from doing commerce i.e. buying a coffee and sitting outside..

I then returned to the College at 559 Howe Street and walked up to St. Paul's Hospital.
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TED MARCH 16-20, 2015

It was like a magnet.  I had to return to TED for the rest of the week mostly in the pouring rain. I wanted someone from TED to read my sign.  Owen, the doggie, and I sat on a bench under a canopy most of the time on the Convention plaza.  Although I had my sign taped to the grocery cart no one from TED approached me except for one delegate who offered me a oatmeal cookie.  He said TED provided truck loads of catered food to the delegates.  I was watching his eyes and he never read my sign.  No one from TED read my sign. 

TED is an organization within the Sapling Foundation, a non-profit.  It would be interesting to know if the curator of TED,Chris Anderson, earns no more than 3X our minimum wage which is the criteria I use to determine if a non-profit is a true non-profit or a non-profit for profit i.e. a make work project to pay its top players millions of dollars in wages. Some young reporter might want to investigate this.

I meet a young (35 year old) man who said he did documentaries and was trying to get a TED delegate to talk to him.  If he reads this blog, will you please phone me.  604-321-2276

Randy and how much he wanted to live

I woke up this morning thinking of Randy and how much he wanted to live.  I remember when we were together I could not understand why he was so angry one day.  I asked if the nurses did something to him.  He said no.  I asked he if Dr. Dunn did something.  He said yes.  I was able to determine that Dr. Dunn told him that he would never get better and Randy was determined to prove him wrong.  Randy told me that he
did not need Dr. Dunn as I would help him.  And then those people said that I was not good for Randy and they got the public guardian and trustee involved so that I would never see Randy again.

The doctors do not work for their patients, their pieces of silver are paid by the government and they do what they are told.. The government says to meet budget projections; so the doctors ration care.

Patients like Randy are encouraged to give up. Randy was chronic and he was expensive to care for.  One doctor tells me that Randy will live and for me not to worry and another one on the same day at a different hospital at the same time puts an unauthorized DNR and DNT on Randy and puts him into a room to die.  A DNT means Do Not Transfer so if you are in a residential care facility you cannot go to an acute hospital: a recipe for certain death.

Being chronically ill is like winning the lottery; there are few winners. Lottery winners are not taxed but the chronically ill are heavily taxed by having their care rationed so their quality/enjoyment of life are lessened.

Email to TED

March 18 2015 copy of email mailed to where the buck stops: TED, slightly editted…

 On Monday I was told by TED that I wasn't allowed on what I believed was a very large public plaza mostly used by tourists in front of the Vancouver Convention Centre over looking the waterfront  that TED did not want anyone demonstrating on its turf:  TRUTH AND DARE. I did not go to the plaza with the intention of disturbing your delegates.  No fear, no delegate talked to me and no delegate even as much as glanced at my sign: they were too busy I assume with TRUTH and their own isolated personal world.  It did not offend me: it is just the way it is. 

My sign was a kindergarten craft board 20 inches X 30 inches sitting on a small personal grocery cart. And I was with my late husband's little doggie, Owen. The closest I came to the entrance was 500 feet. I was so bored and tired looking at the tourists that I was reading a newspaper sitting on a small blue blanket. My age has given me bad feet so I can’t walk or stand for long.

The information sign reads:  The BC College of Physicians says it is okay to place DNRs on patients without consent.  The secret courts of the College have to go. 

I have been randomly slowly walking the streets of downtown Vancouver with this sign on the shopping cart which also serves as a doggie wagon as Owen the doggie is getting old like me and doesn't want to walk much, he is 17 pounds, part poodle, part terri, cute, every afternoon for the past three weeks (M-F).  

How could TED put out the order to prevent a bereaving senior (first, Randy’s death and then the decision of the College) and Owen or anyone for any reason  from walking on what seems to be a public plaza.

TO: TED, where the buck stops

250 Hudson Street

Suite 1002

New York,

New York

10013

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TED

Up until this weekend I never heard about TED and its conference being held at the mostly public funded Vancouver Convention Centre. As part of my walking information protest I was on the plaza outside of TED and I was told by TED that it did not allow protests on the plaza which I understood was open to the public without restrictions. TED was sold out and there was more security than at the White House. The cost of attending TED was $8,500 US and there were 13,000 delegates. From BC Business it says that a thinker would be Monica Lewinsky along with more than 70 other thinkers. Who are these people: an elitist group. My sign was on my personal grocery cart accompanied by Randy's doggy, Owen, which sign said ""The BC College of Physicians says it is okay to place DNRs on patients without consent. The secret courts of the College have to go." It wasn't a big sign. In November 2013 I placed a complaint against the college and it closed its file in December 2014 without an adequate explanation to me as to why Dr. Dunn put a DNR on my best friend and husband, Randy Michael Walker. The reasoning was confidential. I was told that Dr. Dunn did no wrong. TED of all organizations has decried free speech. I was approximately 500 feet from the convention centre entrance when approached by security on what should be public property. The theme of the conference is "Truth and Dare."
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Coercion of DNRs

This post is similar to what happened to me under the Vancouver Health Authority.  I learned one thing from this post that the proxy should always be with the patient when DNRs are discussed. From web site True Dignity Vermont.

The Horrifying Medical Culture into Which the Vermont Legislature Has Injected Assisted Suicide

March 12, 2015 by Administrators

Over its years of fighting assisted suicide, True Dignity has become acutely aware that medical care of people with disabilities is fraught with discrimination: there is a dangerous assumption, on the part of able- bodied people with power, that certain types of life are not worth living and should be brought to a quick end.  Bill Peace’s article about his hospital experience (available on request by emailing admin@truedignityvt.org and also at a link posted March 10, 2015 on our Facebook page) and Lynne Vitzthum’s recent testimony about her pediatrician’s urging her to decline treatment for her disabled son are examples of discriminatory, arrogant and coercive medical attitudes and practices.  Peace and Vitzthum describe a medical and society-wide culture into which it is obviously deadly to introduce assisted suicide.

True Dignity has received yet another compelling personal account of this dangerous and coercive medical culture and the devastation it wreaked on the lives of VT patients and their families even before assisted suicide became legal.  One has to set reason aside to ignore the reality that the very same powerful people who act coercively with regard to what their prejudice causes them to define as “overtreatment” of people with disability, the old, and those thought to be terminally ill, will act coercively with regard to assisted suicide.

The events described in this story took place at a hospital and rehab/nursing Home in Vermont.  As much as we can without revealing identifying information, we will let the person involved, who was the designated surrogate for her partner, tell the story in her own words, which are italicized and indented.  For the partner’s protection, and ours, we are calling the patient, “John Doe”.  We have not changed the partner’s capitalization and boldface of words and phrases she wants to emphasize.

For several weeks I was there (in the hospital) as the legal Health Care Proxy and Life Partner of (Mr. John Doe), aged 79.  He was to have outpatient Cancer treatment which turned into hospital care.

…early in treatment the Oncologist appointed to Mr. Doe started him on chemotherapy and diuretics for swollen ankles of unknown cause… There was no warning that chemotherapy by itself could cause infections.

(Mr. Doe) was admitted to the Hospital with a Pneumonia type lung infection which got steadily worse each day. The Oncologist did not see (Mr. Doe) during this crucial time.  Out of a large team of changing Doctors and Residents we mostly saw one Resident that week who basically said nothing could be done for the infection… When asked what could be done for his pain the Resident glibly replied,”Research has shown that Marijuana is good for pain.” Useless information at the time.

Shortly after (Mr. Doe) was transferred to the Intensive Care Unit. The Oncologist, knowing that I was the Health Proxy, went behind my back trying to pressure my Partner into signing a “Do Not Resuscitate” form. My partner was distressed when he told me the Doctor and a Resident had approached him with a form he did not want. He wanted to live!

On (the next day) I walked in on the determined Oncologist with a Resident again, for the second time, trying to pressure (Mr. Doe) into signing a DNR.  I showed my legal papers that day. The doctor used Residents supposedly as Witnesses for the Patient.

Doctors should not be allowed to pressure or intimidate Patients into choosing death without the presence of the Patient’s family or designated Proxy…

On (the same day) late afternoon two young people either Doctors or Residents said my Partner would need Ventilator Life Support for his critical lung infection. They strongly advised against the ventilator saying, “Most people wouldn’t choose that. He only has a 50-50 chance of survival.” To me letting the Love of My Life die with a good 50-50 chance at life would be MURDER.  I chose the ventilator against their ‘Whatever’ attitude of disdain.

On (the next day) an especially nasty light haired Nurse, who had angrily confronted my Ventilator decision the day before, barked when I asked his condition.  “He’s only alive because WE’RE keeping him alive, His numbers are good because WE’RE making them good!”  Yikes, I had the stupid idea that Hospitals are supposed to save lives. Yes, there may come a time for the patient and family to decline treatment but not by being bullied to death.

(Two days later) after a Pulmonary Doctor told me the Patient was showing improvement the Oncologist showed up with the usual foreboding of doom, got within inches of my face and arrogantly berated me with eyes blazing, “I’ve had patients come off the ventilator and tell their families “DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!” A nasty unprofessional encounter. I had to inform the hostile Doctor that I knew of John Doe’s wishes FORTY YEARS LONGER than his five minute visit.

(The next day) a patronizing brunette Nurse gave me a speech on how “Nurses are patient advocates” as though I were his enemy. She mouthed a righteous pitch on “Death with Dignity” then proclaimed, “(Mr. Doe) feels that he has lost his right of choice.”  With his eyes closed and a Ventilator tube down his throat (Mr. Doe) couldn’t speak but she wisely knew of his wish to die.

In fact my decision was right and the GODS were wrong. The week after Life Support (Mr. Doe) was feeling, eating and looking well. Not one Death Advocate had a glad word to say about his recovery. He was released to a rehab center to rebuild strength for further cancer treatment. He was discharged to the rehab on high doses of prescribed blood thinners with no hospital oversight. 

Three days later the patient was sent from the rehab facility in pain from exercise back to the same hospital’s emergency room where internal hemorrhaging due to blood thinners was misdiagnosed as sciatica back pain. He was released back to the rehab. He continued to be in severe pain but the rehab doctor on call would not come over the weekend. He sent his Nurse on Monday. She sent (Mr. Doe) back to the hospital in near death condition. It had taken much begging before the Rehab even called the doctor.

It turns out that the doctor on call had no legal obligation to see the patient. By the time (Mr. Doe} was finally readmitted to the hospital and the hemorrhaging diagnosed and treated, it was too late. After blood transfusions he did not recover well enough for further cancer treatment and was sent home to die.

The hospital later admitted the misdiagnosis, in writing, but claimed it was due to the patient’s atypical symptoms. The hospital was still cited by the State Division of Licensing because a Physician Assistant, PA, made the incorrect diagnosis of sciatica without consulting a Doctor. Here is more from the Patient’s Partner:

(Little more than a week later) upon leaving (the hospital) to go back to our town to die I got my last scolding from one of the last team Doctors saying more than once, “You’re the ONE who’s keeping him Alive, we often have this PROBLEM with Couples.”  Love is now a problem. 

…Never before had I imagined being in a Hospital that wants the Patient to DIE.  From this awful experience I believe that with legal ASSISTED SUICIDE those patients who want to die will be outnumbered by those Elderly who are forced to die. DEATH IS GUARANTEED TO ALL without Assistance. In my view it is more important to protect the RIGHT TO LIVE than the Right to Die.

(Mr. Doe) remained in constant pain with no use of his legs since the two days of  misdiagnosed, untreated hemorrhaging. He died 11 days after leaving the hospital. This happened in 2010.

Whatever you think about aggressive care at the end of life, surely doctors should not be prejudiced enough to try to destroy the autonomy of a patient who, during some of these events, was able to communicate his dismay at being pressured. Surely he should have never been pressured in the absence of his life partner and proxy, especially by two doctors, one of whom was dependent on her superior and scarcely could be expected to countermand him.

Shockingly, such behavior is not actually illegal in Vermont.  In fact, the physician did not even have to consult the patient or proxy.  All he was legally required to do was recruit another clinician (the resident?!)  to join with him in defining resuscitation as futile care by issuing “a certification…that resuscitation would not prevent the imminent death of the patient, should the patient experience cardiac arrest (http://healthvermont.gov/regs/ad/dnr_colst_instructions.pdf).   This man lived six weeks more after a Pneumonia type infection so using “imminent” to describe his death does not seem to be justified. This doctor clearly had a point of view that he was determined to impose, and he did not conceal his anger when someone bucked his authority.

The only thing that kept this patient alive after Pneumonia was the strength of will of his partner, who did not care what people in the hospital thought about her, even as, she writes, “Between the Death Advocates at the Hospital and the indifference at the Rehab Center, I DID START TO QUESTION MY OWN AND ALL SANITY.”  When everyone else is for death, it’s hard to stand firm on a choice for life, but she did it, admirably.

The real agenda of the promoters of assisted suicide has nothing to do with the “choice” which their promotional ads tell us must be honored at all costs.  It is about getting rid of people who need care that is costly and time consuming.   “At all costs” is an apt phrase, because patients, who, as this story shows, are already paying the costs that hospitals and the states are cutting everywhere, will lose more and more of their liberties if assisted suicide becomes an ordinary part of end of life care in Vermont.

Montanans Against Assisted Suicide: Quick Facts About Assisted Suicide

Montanans Against Assisted Suicide: Quick Facts About Assisted Suicide: By Margaret Dore, Esq.* Updated October 7, 2014   1.  Assisted Suicide Assisted suicide means that someone provides the means and/or...

part of above: Wagner and Stroup were steered to suicide. Moreover, it was the Oregon Health Plan, a government entity, doing the steering.[17]  For more detail, please read an affidavit by Dr. Stevens, filed by the Canadian government, by clicking here.
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Montanans Against Assisted Suicide: Physician-Assisted Suicide Part of Elder Abuse Fra...

Montanans Against Assisted Suicide: Physician-Assisted Suicide Part of Elder Abuse Fra...: On March 26, 2013, Philip Tummarello, a retired police Sergeant Inspector, testified before the Montana Senate Judiciary Committee on on ...

Alex Schadenberg, Euthanasia Prevention Coalition: Assisted suicide would be fraught with problems an...

Alex Schadenberg, Euthanasia Prevention Coalition: Assisted suicide would be fraught with problems an...: This Op-Ed was published in the Connecticut Mirror on March 6, 2015. By Stephen Mendelsohn, leader of the disability rights group Sec...

The wink-wink urban legend.

In a report by Dr. James G. Salwitz dated February 6,2015 he writes The Line Between Comfort Care and Murder

"Do you mean that patients are deliberately killed by their physicians?"  Absolutely was the answer, confirmed by the nods of a nearly unanimous audience.

An older gentleman clarified "It's like wink-wink and then it's done."

...

Nonetheless for many mercy killing is part of the urban legend and is, wink-wink acceptable.  ....Are backroom medical murders really a ubiquitous dark secret?.

see http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2015/02line-comfort-car-murder.html

Apparently, medical murders are done in nursing homes in British Columbia, I was told this by a registered nurse.  It is so routine that nurses don't even consider that it is murder, it is just done.

ubiquitous means existing everywhere
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Open Meeting on Ethics of Medical Dying at SFU

There is a meeting in which Dr. Susan Hoghson will bespeaking on the Ethics of Medical Dying.  It should be interesting.  It is an open meeting at Bluson Hall Room 11028 at SFU Burnaby Campus.  The hall is next to the main bus loop at the top of the mountain.March 6, 2015 at 3:30 pm.  If you can find time, please attend.On the roof you will find 11028.

I attended the talk on March 6 2015 ( earlier today) the speaker said that the stats in Oregon proved that those that asked for assistance to kill themselves were not vulnerable: they were white, older,  college educated, middle class (rich but not ultra rich ) and minuscule in number.  So who started this madness.  This costly exercise in one's autonomy for a few at the expense of suicide.. So far no one has accused the medical establishment of anything but if it saved $resources it would seem plausible.