a Steeler's hat

For some reason I am again obsessing about when I wanted to get a Steeler's hat from Ro so I could bury it with Randy.   She said that his possessions did not belong to me (his wife and best friend); they belonged to the public guardian and trustee.  I cannot understand how she is still the manager of George Pearson Centre.  This was ridiculous.  She could not understand that after Randy died all his possessions belonged to me.

The purpose of getting the public guardian and trustee was to deny me access to Randy.  Once the public guardian and trustee becomes committee that means the public guardian and trustee controls every aspect of a patient's life including visitors.  GPC management was spiteful. They knew exactly what they were doing.

This after she convinced the public guardian and trustee to take away my legal rights to Randy by getting the PGT to revoke my power of attorney.  I do no know what she said to the PGT but she told me that she had reported me to what end I did not know at that time.  I remember saying to her that she had nothing on me except me sending out emails to which rarely I got a reply.  She asked me about finances and my personal life.  I told her it was none of her business.  She assured me it was. I did not know her job was to be a spy.  I thought everything in a hospital was suppose to be confidential.  I subsequently read that 80% of all referrals to the PGT come from hospitals.  So do not try to be friendly with any health provider as they will report you.  They will never report each other for criminal or unethical behaviors, but they report patients and visitors.

I also remember before the public guardian and trustee got involved, she told me to take home most of Randy's belongings.  This was in December   She said it cluttered up his space.  It was cluttered for three years and all or a sudden she wanted neat.  This was in December 2013 days before I had to face another Do Not Remove. She knew that Randy was close to death and she wanted his stuff out of GPC to make her job easier when he died.  Randy became acutely sick on December 26, 2013 and I had to fight with GPC that he had to go back to acute care.  I now realize that GPC put Randy under a slow code which is illegal.  Again Randy was so fragile if he did not go to acute he would have died. We were told that there was a Do Not Remove Order on Randy so that he could not leave George Pearson Centre and also the doctor instructed staff not to phone him.  Vancouver General Hospital kept him for three to four weeks and then they sent him back to George Pearson Centre against our wishes.

The health authorities for years kept sending Randy back to GPC, a place where he was not safe.

Randy was not convicted of a crime so that the state can send a criminal to where they want.  Randy had an accident and he needed a place where he would be safe and not an institution that did everything to dislodge me from him so he would feel isolated and DNRs could be placed on him without me knowing.

How can we trust hospitals to be safe when one-third of all hospital deaths are attributed to medical errors.

The mantra of the health authorities on how they deal with family:  (1) delay (2) deny (3)divide family from patient (4) discredit (5) demoralize.  I was a witness/victim in every single stage.


When I would tell VGH and St. Paul that it was not safe for Randy to be returned to GPC, they did not investigate or even want to know the details.

How mean GPC was

I came across a memo dated February 2014 saying that a friend of mine and Randy's who was visiting Randy was told that he was not allowed to use his cell phone so Randy could hear my voice because Randy was not allowed to communicate with me.  This is how George Pearson Centre behaves.  Outrageous.  My bereavement over Randy's death is now escalating into a slow rage, justifiably so.  Who told Ro Ang to do this.  Ro Ang is the manager of George Pearson Centre and she caused us much pain and demoralisation and robbed us of being together during the last  months of his life. She managed to get me banned from George Pearson Centre. The staff was afraid of me as I might take a picture of them.  I could not see Randy. Instead of discussing any concerns she had, she reported me to the Public Guardian and Trustee. Why.  Randy was dying and she created a summit conference in January 2014 with the PGT to make sure I never saw Randy alive again.  And we must not forget that she was advised by VCH's lawyers that it was okay to do this. This woman did not even attempt to manage the situation. What did Richard say, zero tolerance.  I was 70-years old then. What did I do that was so grievous. What was grievous was Ro refusing to give me one of Randy's baseball caps (Steelers) so I could put it in his coffin.  No, that was not possible I was told because the cap was Randy's and not mine.  And, just as grievous was she would not let me go to Randy's memorial service or talk to any of Randy's friends.  Immediately after VCH had a meeting with the PGT in January 2014, I was 100% banned. These agencies are good at endorsing each other's recommendations "consults" that they can do what they want hyperbolized with "on the advice of its lawyer." The Public Guardian and Trustee supposedly an independent semi-judicial body, it is a body that has unique statutory powers, but it seems to do exactly what VCH expects of them.   Randy was a quad, could not talk as he had a tach, and he was often unresponsive because he was depressed.  They never asked me if Randy was depressed so they labelled him incompetent.  Of course, Randy would be depressed as he knew he was dying and he was prevented from seeing me.  Ro had a vindictive agenda, a path to ensure that I would never see Randy again. I can see her and her co-workers going to Whistler on a paid retreat to discuss me wanting to visit Randy and how to prevent it. Lamenting over drinks. I caught social workers laughing at me behind my back.  Perhaps, GPC concurred that it was in Randy's best interest to be divorced from me. That was not up to her to decide, it was up to Randy.  And to think she is still employed robbing others of their rights. Egregiously, mean.  But then she was of the opinion that Randy had no quality of life and that he should have a DNR/DNT on him. DNRs are dangerous as they can hasten death.

I tried so hard.

As Randy lay unconscious on 13 April 2014 and VGH ICU would not let me hold him in my arms (they called security) I cried over and over saying to comatose Randy  That I was so sorry that I did everything I could do but they won't help him.  Randy only wanted to come home.  If he was going to die he wanted to be with me.  I couldn't even hold him, how cruel they were.The ICU bed belonged to the hospital so I could not touch it and there was a liability issue.  Critical thinking on the part of this third world imported nurse was shocking.

I buried Randy on the Island in a green grave ceremony.  It was a beautiful day among the trees and nature and sun and a light wind and the sound of life among the foliage and rockery..  I piled handful and handfuls of  pink carnations and small white flowers over his grave site.  The pink carnations symbolize that he will never be forgotten.  Carnations are a study flower and can last five-six weeks with light rain.

I promised that I was going to wear Randy's Steelers clothing as a tribute to his death but I haven't been able to do that yet.  He was a Steelers fan and most of his clothes were Steelers brand name.

At VGH I was only able to afford to pay for television for him so he could watch the Steelers games.  It was expensive $20.00 a day with tax and I remember he looked at me and moved his head up and moved his lips to say " thank you.".

Only patients that have extended medical get free television and a private room.  When I research the hospitality network I learned that VGH earns $1,000,000 a year for the televisions from the backs of the poor.   Televisions are cheap now so there is no reason except for the windfall the hospital gets so that most poor patients are without entertainment and families mostly cannot afford $600 a month..  I do not understand why a group hasn't made an issue of this yet.  But then I suppose the hospitality company that own the televisions are all doctors and everyone treads lightly with them.

24 April 2014

It has been 12 days since Randy died in the ICU at VGH.  I am so grateful that he died at VGH in its intensive care unit.  He had the best pallative care possible.  They kept him on life support until the support could not sustain him any more. His blood pressure was not compatible to life. I was able to hold his hand at the point that he died.  It was so sudden.  The nurse Susan was watching the monitor and she told me to hold his hand as he was going.  I am grateful to her as it only takes a second for a person to pass and he could have died without me knowing.. I do not remember crying at that moment.  Just holding his hand.

Randy has not been buried yet as I could not deal with him being incinerated.  He mentioned that he wanted a green burial in a forest.  I want to wrap him up in 100% wool which was what was the law in England at one time.  Everyone had to be buried in wool.  And I wanted him to be buried with his Steeler's hats and his Steeler's t-shirts.  I decided to keep his Steeler's jacket for myself as a tribute to his memory.

I am not well and I can't leave the one-room suite I live in.  I do not know how long I will be self- imprisoned here.

Randy's doggies are with me but they are so quiet all they do is lay on the floor and watch me.  Sometimes the little one, Owen, will come to me and lick/kiss my face and then I hold him tight and then I cry..

Otherwise my room is silent except for the district hum of traffic from Cambie Street. 

I just received three sympathy cards to date; but, then, more may come.  I want them for my memory box.
5976 Cambie Street Vancouver BC V5Z 3A9