15-09-2018 Not doing very well

I thought by now I would be getting better but it seems an impossible ladder to climb.  From being able to sleep too much to now not being able to sleep very little.

I can't seem to find anything that brings me pleasure -- a diversion from the eight years that I was bullied by VCHA.  With all the proactive work VCHA is doing with mental health they neglect to look into their own organization and educate their own employees on how to interact with patients and their family and friends.  Their policy is still if there is suspicion that a family member or patient might be critical of the VCHA that they have to be sanitized.  In 2010 there was a web presence called Civil Rights Now by Paul Caine.  It was highly critical of the health authorities and in those days the media would feature such talk and he has now been minimized to boring like all non-profit sites that get funding from VCHA.  It was as if  Paul was told to cool it. His website does not now contain any of the history of his time while in George Pearson Centre.  It was a history so how can, I assume, VCHA destroy it.  I wonder when he was being an advocate for the disabled he was confident and helpful now he doesn't even answer his phone.  One thing that I cannot forget about his telling was a patient who needed help at George Pearson Centre and the residents in the ward were incessantly calling for assistance to help him and the requests were ignored and the patient died.  History is history and it should not be deleted from the internet. I wonder if Paul knows about the constitutional challenge Roger Foley has started in Ontario.  The issue includes directed funding that Paul wanted for patients in British Columbia.  Foley has asked that Bill C-14 be declared unconstitutional as it does not give equal access to life.  And there was Tina who sued VCHA and the Portland Society over the way she was treated and her vivid descriptive blog is gone. And also there was Ms. Tonner a health authority nurse-employee who complained about the death of her mother while in care and she threatened to deconstruct what happened.  She got early retirement.   For the greater good VCHA has decided to get rid of any negativity about VCHA so when abuses happen a loner is considered NOK and the loner is put on the flowchart of how VCHA treat dissenters.  You are made to believe that there is something wrong with you. It is called gaslighting.  And VCHA is very good at it.

As for me my suicide ideation of a few months ago it is still with me.  It would be so easy.  No more flashbacks, no more stress, no impossible deadlines, no more erratic behavior, like buying expensive clothes (clothes full price rather than on sale) that I will never wear.  I attempted to buy a toaster oven and I took it back many times as I could not decide if I really wanted one.  So I finally decided over a four month period on the most expensive toaster oven which I now rarely use.  As an explantion, I live in a teardown and my stove oven hasn't been operational for a year.  No owner is going to fix anything if his building is going to be demolished.  And I won't complain as my rent is relatively cheap for Vancouver.  Althoug the building was built in the 1950s it is structurally sound.  It does not even have drywall, only plaster which does not mould and teak wood doors and teak wood windows frames and hardwood floors.  It was originally used as an inlaw suite.  Although the space is small I am happy here. It even has a small garden space which I am too depressed to look after. However, I did plant kale this spring and someone every so often drops by and tears off the new leaves, so now all I have is the stock with a few new small leaves sitting at the top. My place is close to the Canada Line so I have easy mobility.  I know I should be proactive and move but I do not have the energy to think that far ahead.  Once the permits are issued, I will have no choice.  I dread the thought of my rent $tripling.

It is four in the morning and it is time to try to get some sleep.

My psychologist said it was good to keep a daily journal.  I will try but sometimes it is very difficult as things are either so traumatic to repeat or so boring it is not worth the effort.  I dislike reading my emails, listening to the news, answering the phone, or even going to the post office to pick up my mail. I cancelled my newspaper subscription and I do not have television.  I have a sign on my door that says:  go away, I am sleeping.  I miss Randy and I regret not being able to fight for him harder.  I would like to say that I tried my best, but I did not.  The guilt will never go away.  Yesterday a friend tried to move some of Randy's stuff in the storage area, stuff I hadn't seriously looked at for four years, and I went ballistic.  I need his stuff near me and I want it in pristine condition.  One of the things I want to do is eventually send to his father all of Randy's clothing that have a Steeler's logo on them.  He has nine hats, sweat shirts, t-shirts and a Steeler's jacket.  When I do that maybe I might then be in acceptance with his death but then maybe not.  Everytime there was an occasion like a birthday I would go and buy Randy a $35.00 cap.  He wore his caps even when he was sleeping.  I managed to put one in his coffin before he was buried.  I know his father would appreciate the hats as he has been a lifetime Steeler's fan, so is Randy's mother, but I just can't depart with them now.  I just need to hold on to them. At one time I was wearing his bomber jacket most days but now as the weather is getting colder I can't find it.  I sometimes think, if it wasn't for Carolanne, I would be well.  I will be forever indebted to her as she told me in 2011 what Randy's rights were while being a patient at George Pearson Centre. She is the one that saved Randy's life. 

Euthanasia Prevention Coalition: Time to Terminate assisted suicide.

Euthanasia Prevention Coalition: Time to Terminate assisted suicide.: Alex Schdenberg Executive Director - Euthanasia Prevention Coalition:  Steve Forbes Steve Forbes, wrote an excellent article for ending euthanasia.

30 September 2018 : Steve Forbes

Time To Terminate "Assisted Dying"

Steve Forbes Forbes Staff

Policy “With all thy getting, get understanding."

This story appears in the September 30, 2018 issue of Forbes.

IN 2002 Belgium legalized the murderously chilling act of euthanasia, whereby doctors and nurses kill patients with their supposed consent. Holland had formally done the same the year before. This practice, all too reminiscent of what Nazi Germany did before WWII to the mentally handicapped and to people with very serious disabilities, is justified these days not by Hitlerian theories of "purifying the race," of course, but as a "humane" way to deal with those who are suffering mortal illnesses and in extreme pain.

Many thousands of patients have been disposed of since Holland and Belgium enacted these morally repugnant laws. Belgium now allows euthanasia to be applied even to children, acknowledging recently that between Jan. 1, 2016, and Dec. 31, 2017, two children, ages 9 and 11, who were afflicted with a brain tumor and cystic fibrosis, respectively, and a 17-year-old, who had Duchenne muscular dystrophy, had been put to death. Apologists say these kids gave their consent, as did their parents. Good God! Are we to believe that youngsters should be making such decisions?

Holland has been hit with scandals in which patients were administered lethal injections without their consent, in order to free up "needed" hospital beds. After all, the reasoning went, these people were going to die soon, anyway. In Belgium, according to a news report, a member of the Federal Commission for Euthanasia Control & Evaluation resigned last year "in protest at the unchecked killings of dementia patients."

What's happening here is an ugly, slippery slope. Instead of working to alleviate the tribulations of the afflicted and innovating ever better ways to do this, we simply "put them out of their misery," the way we do with household pets.

It's not only in Belgium and the Netherlands that we're seeing this awful phenomenon. A chronically ill man in Canada is suing the government because medical personnel allegedly and illegally tried to coerce him into going the assisted-suicide route to save money. "Why force me to end my life?" the plaintiff asked.

It's one thing for people to declare in writing when they are in good health and of sound mind that no "heroic" measures are to be taken, that medical staff should "let nature take its course." But it's quite another for medical personnel to actually kill patients, as is happening in Belgium, Holland and elsewhere.

Research shows that many euthanasia and assisted-suicide victims are suffering from depression. They should be treated, not abandoned. As for physical suffering, it's hardly beyond the capabilities of modern medicine to effectively manage pain with older, well-established medications, as well as newer, better drugs.

It's true that in the U.S. we have a serious opioid crisis. Nonetheless, the response shouldn't be a diminution in pain management but, alternatively, a focus on reducing and eventually eliminating the abuses

.

The temptation to use euthanasia as a solution will only increase as populations age and as cash-strapped governments and insurers scramble to find ways to reduce growing healthcare costs. It should be axiomatic that life is sacrosanct, whether or not you are religious

.

In recent times we have seen enormous medical advances that not only prolong life but also improve the quality of life as we age. The answer to the rising costs of healthcare is the creation of genuine free markets, which always turn scarcity into abundance. There is precious little in the way of free markets in healthcare. Third parties, primarily governments and insurers--not the patients--still dominate. This is beginning to change in the U.S. Rapidly effecting this transformation should be our urgent goal, not surrendering to rationing or descending into the pit of euthanasia and "assisted dying."

Morally and pragmatically, such practices have no place in a truly civilized and humane society.

Steve Forbes is Chairman and Editor-in-Chief of Forbes Media. Steve’s new book: Reviving America: How Repealing Obamacare, Replacing the Tax Code and Reforming The Fed will Restore Hope and Prosperity co-authored by Elizabeth Ames (McGraw-Hill Professional) came out in De...

• ©2018 Forbes Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

02 Septemeber 2018 Carolanne Chamberlain

Where is Charolanne.

I have been trying to find out what VCHA has done to Carolanne.  Ever so often VCHA puts No Contact Orders on patients and patients disappear.  This is what VCHA was doing years ago and VCHA is still doing it.  Not knowing where she is is very upsetting and distracting  for me. I cannot focus on other things that I need to do.  I get flashbacks which are very disturbing. Does this not remind you of the dark times of World War II where people would go missing never to be seen  or heard from again.

We are a society where health authorities think they can do what they want and no one says anything.  Hiding patients is not acceptable.

In 2013 I became a bit friendly with a family at VGH when Randy was in intensive care and later when I inquired where the patient was, there was no record that she ever was at VGH. This mystery can best be described as mental cruelty. You have been gaslighted. VCHA causes much grief and yet no one says anything.

I am always tired: bone-deep exhaustion of living with acute stress and uncertainty for years and it has causing me physical pain and mental disorders. It is very unpleasant, There is nothing to look forward to.  Even Carolanne is gone. How can she disappear.  I contacted everyone who should know.  Nothing. We, as a country, are a silent dictatorship.

We are being held ransom to protect the confidentiality of one or two people.  It is perverse.  It is overboard causing more harm than good.

02 August 2016 email to Andrew Macfarlane (VCHA)

Subject:
Randy Michael Walker
From:
Audrey Laferriere
Date:
2016-08-02 7:34 AM
To:
andrew.macfarlane@vch.ca

For what seems like forever I have been asking for the reasons why you signed the Certificate of Incapacity for Randy and you never replied,  I will remind you you are an officer of the court and you have chosen to offend it.

I would like to think that you were pressured into doing this but then maybe you were just lazy and rubber stamped the request of the Public Guardian and Trustee who rubber stamped whatever Coastal Health wanted.

Just for your information, the decision of the college of physicians and surgeons said that Dr. Dunne put a DNR on Randy when he should not have.  This decision was also kept from me.  Something about the college being an arcane star chamber.

How was it that you were able to rescind my involvement in Randy's life when I had an enduring power of attorney and a section 9 representation agreement.  I did not abandon Randy, I was totally devoted to him. I did not know that Randy had any money that would interest the public guardian and trustee until after Randy died.

You have insulted our judicial system and you are continuing to do so.

What you did to Randy was unforgivable.  You made sure that I would never see him again and I was his only reason for life.  How could you do that. 

From an Ontario case.  Not mine. Over one hundred Ontario lawyers refused to represent me even as they acknowledged the veracity and power of my evidence. Many told me that while they personally sympathized with my situation facing injustice and corruption, they feared backlash and opprobrium from the profession if they harmed or even challenged the involved senior lawyers and their large Bay Street law firms.

Substitute Ontario Lawyers with the lawyers who represent the VCHA and the PGT.  I have been searching for eight years to get a lawyer. Why should it have been so difficult.  Not one of them offered to read my story (or read my blog) or read my amateur pleadings. But these lawyers sure knew how to advise VCHA on how to make a fake case against we.  They even got the police involved, unknown visitors, unknown experts, unknown patients, unknown staff, evidence based on gossip.  Believe it, gossip is now considered truth in a court of law.

It was about the hastening of my husband's death and they all believed my husband's life had no quality of life and they all had to help him kill himself.  It was in Randy's best interest.

When did doctors become devils..... the evil created by the medical industrial complex.  We do not have to worry about hidden agenda of hidden weapons of mass distruction only whispers of death from those you are suppose to trust.   From the first day I spoke to a social worker in 2010 I was told that I should just sign off and let the PGT look after Randy.  Another nurse told me not to push for agressive treatment.  And then there is Ro who told me that everyone at GPC has a DNR on them and them (the residents) not even knowng what a DNR was. And she believed that Randy had no quality of life.  So she made sure that my access to him was limited to ensure that he had no reason to live.  Up to April 4 2014 when Randy was admitted to VCH I always had full access to him at VGH but she Ro phoned Emergency and prevented me from seeing him.  She knew Randy was dying and wanted to make sure that he did die and die alone.

I would not abandon my husband so they made sure that they did it for me.  It was not in the best interest of my husband to live so I had to be punished/banned for life from all VCHA premises so that I would never see him again, not even on his death bed. And this came to pass.

Like Nurse Ratchet aid to me, that I could not do anything to her as she was a civil servant.  The rest of them are protected by the Canadian Medical Protection Association.  The CMPA is not  an insurance company, it is a union, with tons of money and very little ethics.  No member no matter how bad he is has even be disfellowed. He has insurance for life no matter what harm he does.  So he has nothing to worry about.  And to add insult to injury it is the tax payer who pays the union dues on behalf of the physicians.Unlike the US where the physicians have to pay their own insurance premiums.

And I am still angry over my wanting to know from David Bell, partner in Guild Yule, what did I do and his response was "I knew what I did."  I said no, tell me what did.  HE REFUSED.  So he created this expensive litigation which will eventually embarass the government over what.  I have no idea.  I would still like to know whythey wanted me to be escorted to the toilet when I was visiting Randy.  I use DEPENDS so I never had to use their toilet.  What did I do wrong.  Lawyers are not allowed to create litigation to satisfy the whim of risk management.  And then there is Dr. Dunn, Dr. Roberts and Dr. Hay who hide from being serviced with a Notice of Civil Claim.  These are professionals hiding from due process.  The College of Physicians and Surgeons should fine them $100,000 each for not respecting the law.  Physicians are given incredible amount of power and they abuse it.

A terrible mistake

I made a terrible mistake.  I decided that since VCHA would not allow me to see Carolanne, a resident-patient at George Pearson Centre, that I would go by way of a  petition :  a court action.  Wrong move. I did not count on VCHA getting to Carolanne who said she did not want to see me.  They convinced Carolanne that I would get into trouble if I tried to see her. I could not barge in to see her again as she was put under heavy supervision. And I am afraid of violence from Paladin Security.  I told the lawyers for VCHA that their client was forcing Carolanne to say she did not want to see me because I would get into trouble ... and they did nothing.  I did ask Carolanne if she told Dr. Hay, her primary physician appointed by the state (VCHA) if Dr. Hay asked her if she wanted to see me and she said that she told him yes.  Dr. Hay did not do anything either for me to access Carolanne and neither did he attempt to contact me although I emailed him on more than one occasion asking to see Carolanne and her wanting to see me. In furtherance, the good Dr. Hay avoided service of the action I commenced for Randy as he too was Randy's physician appointed by the state.  For a year he did this. Do you have any idea how much a document processing company charges for attempting service.  Dr. Hay owes Randy $big time.  He is a professional, and he hides from a court process. He should be criminally charged with obstruction.  He knew what was wanting to being served on him as I sent him copies by email, left voice mails, faxed him, mailed the documents by post, and personally delivering them to his office.  I even made sure his lawyer knew about the document. The College of Physician and Surgeons should charge him with unprofessional conduct.  Carolanne is a quad whose family abandoned her decades ago.  She had a boyfriend Vince, but he died a few years ago from a heart attack.  The only contact she has with the real world is me. She now has a trach and cannot talk, nor can she write. She haunts me adding to my persistent complex bereavement.

The defendants who are saying that I am well are Dr. Mark Roberts and Dr. James Dunn.  And Dr. Georgia Nemetz, a respected psychologist: a graduate from York House School. None of them have examined me, but they just know. This must be defamation.  I am "not-well" so why are they telling the Supreme Court of British Columbia that I am well. But then they might not know how to search the internet to read what persistent complex bereavement is.

As for the Public Guardian and Trustee, she says that she acted in good faith, I say she abused her power.  Telling me that the enduring power of attorney I had for my husband had to be revoked because I MIGHT mismanage my husband's money is insulting and ridiculous.  This decision was made when my husband was within 9 days of him dying. They knew he was imminent and they did this anyways. Catherine Romaniuk is the Public Guardian and Trustee.  There is a report written by the Ombudsperson called No Longer Your Decision. The Report was critical of both VCHA and the PGT.  The investigation of me was done by a twenty-nine-year-old PGT employee who is most likely still living with his parents.  I know of no other reason for his immaturity i.e. stupidity.  The PGT does what VCHA instructs them what to do.  Whatever VCHA Risk Management wants, Risk Management gets.  Have gun, will travel. And the PGT cannot come up with new evidence as they already declared what evidence they have.  Even after Randy died the PGT was questioning the validity of his will which was made a decade earlier. As if I forged the Will.  They mentioned the possibility of administering the will which would mean that they can revoke a Will as easily as they could revoke a power of attorney..  Administering a will is only done when there is no will.